The Newest of New Moons
by iamjodie
Summary: An alternative way of the Book New Moon, Happening. This is a bit dramatic, A bit fault in out stars-zy, crossed with Its kind of a funny story-ish. If you like twilight and either two of those books I suggest you read this! Please leave a review! I'm rating this M just to be safe. P.s Stephenie Meyer owns most of these Characters! Sorry for any bad spelling or grammar! Thanks :D
1. Welcome to Forks

I feel sick, every day I seem to be feeling worse. It could just be because of the fact I almost died 3 months ago from being attacked by a ruthless vampire. Who goes buy the name of James… Well went by the name of James- before Edward brothers ripped him limb from limb, and set his body on fire. I couldn't help to think that this sickness is something more. Am I dying? The answer to that is yes, every day. I am slowly creeping closer to death, if only Edward would change me. I knew that was to much to ask for at the moment, as he is pretty much ignoring me. I wasn't really paying much attention to Mr Banner. I felt bad as he was probably my favourite teacher- if I had to pick one. Yet I didn't really find this unit of Bio very interesting.

"Bella, the bell the bell just went." Edward said, his face hard. Not hard as in the normal white marble hard that his skin reminded me of. Human hard like he was trying to make a had decision. He has been like this ever since Jasper lost control the other day and tried to attack me, at my own birthday celebration- which I didn't really want in the first place, yet Alice had insisted. Jasper thinking of me as a meal, dosen't really bother me. It probably should bother me, but it doesn't. What bothers me more, is thinking that I many never see Jasper, or Alice who have seem to have left Forks since that 'incident'. I hope Jasper knows I'm not mad at him. Because it was really my fault in the first place.

I finally snapped out of my thoughts when I was some how seated In Edwards silver, extremely clean and shiny Volvo. I only vaguely remembered walking to his car.

"Do you want to stay over at my place tonight Edward?" I said with false hope. I already know that he wouldn't want to stay over, but our relationship was balancing on the point of a knife. We are going to fall one way or another, and in the process I knew that someone was going to get hurt. That someone was most likely going to be me. I need Edward like I need air to Breathe.

"Not tonight, Carlisle and I are going hunting" Edward replied to me, trying to act normal but I could see the tension that he was gripping the steering wheel with.

"Where are you guys going to" I said pretending to be interested, really I just wanted his attention.

"The Goat rocks wilderness" Edward replied, yet he was still not paying attention to me.

"Why isn't Emmet going" I said curiously. Him and Rose are going on a holiday. They left yesterday.

"Ohhh." I said, this was slightly annoying. I hadn't told Emmet to have fun. I think of Emmet like a big brother. I think of Rosalie like Draco Malfoy out of Harry Potter. I wondered how long they would be gone.

"How long will they be gone for" I asked.

"I don't know Bella, why so many questions!" Edward snapped at me. I usually ask Edward questions because he usually knows the answer. He reads peoples answers out of their mind, I thought that he may have seen into Rosalie's or Emmet's minds before they left. Due to Edwards bad temper, and snappy attitude, I was wrong.

He turned the corner, and we were some how already on my street. Edward is a maniac driver. He speeds so fast. I hopped out of the car, I lent in for a kiss from Edward, he lent forward to me, he puckered his lips, but didn't put any effort in.


	2. A trip to Forks Hospital

I decided to go and get a blood test. To see if I am just inventing this strange illness in my head or it was really something to be concerned about. I knew that Carlisle wouldn't be at the hospital- because he is out hunting with Edward. I tried to picture Carlisle hunting, he really didn't seem like someone who would take down a whole bear, then sit there sucking the life out of it. I stopped imagining right there- I didn't want to think about my boyfriends father like figure sucking the life out of a bear. I Left a note for Charlie saying that I was going to Angela's house. I didn't want to alarm him by saying that I was going out to get a blood test for no good reason. Yet I felt that it was better be safe than sorry- trouble just seems to find me.

I pulled into the Forks hospital parking lot. I looked around for Carlisle's black Mecedes-Benz which had tinted windows to keep the sunlight out. It wasn't there, I parked my car and turned of the roaring engine. I slid through the closing automatic doors, before tripping over my own foot. I quickly collected my self off of the floor, turned to have a look around. No one seemed to have noticed my lack of being able to walk over any flat surface. I walked up to the sweet nurse that was at the front desk of the emergency room. I asked her if any doctor was around that could give me a blood test. She told me to sit on the hospital bed in curtain 7. I was only waiting for about 2 minutes before Dr Snow came around the corner and took my blood.

"Please, have this Cookie and drink some Juice. You really don't look to good. Your lab results will be back in about thirty minutes please feel free to wait here. Were not to busy today so you can just stay seated there." Dr Snow said as he ran of with a bag full of my blood. I don't like the sight of blood, the smell of blood, and I most definitely didn't like the taste of blood. All this thinking about blood is making me feel really light headed, so I lay down on the bed happy to have thirty short minutes of time to my self, to just relax. I started to think about Edward, but that made me distrusted, so I decided to start counting the number of square panels on the sealing. Two hundred and thirty three, two hundred and ninety seven… I must have fallen asleep because I woke up to an anxious doctor snow prodding me on the back.

"Bella, your test results have come in" Dr Snow said in a worried voice.

How bad could my simple illness possibly be?


	3. The Diagnosis

"Do you want me to call your Dad Bella" Dr Snow asked me.

"No thanks, Im over 18 so what ever is said between us had the right to stay between us I said." I didn't want to be a burden on Charlie.

"You have a stage 3 Melanoma. It is Malignant, we should start treatment right away to make sure we get a better approach".

"Excuse me, did you just tell me that I had cancer." I laughed, until I realised that doctors- besides maybe Carlisle, didn't joke.

"Yes Bella." I was so right when I said I was dying before. I was wrong when I had said I was dying in slow motion. There was nothing slow about being told you have a malignant cancer at 18. I was shocked, baffled, frazzled, confuzzled, bamboozled and most of all in shock. I was so shocked, that everything- the white walls, Dr Snow, the curtains… Everything just disappeared around me. I woke up on the bed, Dr Snow had a bunch of official looking forms around me. I guessed that that must be for treatment options or plans or what ever. I needed to find Carlisle. I needed his help, he was the most capable doctor that I had ever seen, his hands worked so fast, I would be saved, alive and still human if I got his help. Yet I would have to get his help with out Edward knowing. I didn't want me to be the cause of Edwards pain.

"Doctor Snow, I have to get out of here tonight, would you be able to make an appointment for me to come in sometime tomorrow and go over all those papers with you" I asked, trying to be polite even on top of all the pain, and worry I was feeling.

"Of course" Dr snow looked down at his clip board, with a furrowed brow.

"Were going to be a bit short on doctors tomorrow Bella, but I'd be able to fit you in on my schedule tomorrow at 10am. If that works for you?"

"Yes Doctor Snow, that fine" I replied.

"Bella this is a big dead" I think i already realised that. "You must be in shock, here have another cookie" I nibbled on the end of the cookie, just to make my future doctor look pleased. I picked up my handbag, bided Dr Snow good bye and headed to my truck.

When I finally reached my truck, the shock had sort of worn of, the shock is whats keeping me from crying my eyes out. One tear slid down my face. I could afford to let one little tear slip down my face. Okay, it wasn't just one tear, it was lots of tears. Crying I just can't stop. So many things rushing through my mind, should I tell Edward, should I get help from Carlisle, should I tell my Dad? I just don't know.

"Snap out of this Bella." When I really thought about it, there was only one person I wanted to talk to. My mum. Yet she lives on the other side of America. So that is sort of out of the question. I thought about talking to my mother, I really needed to talk to someone who would have a motherly understanding. I needed a mum. Esme! She would talk to me, and being a Mum, she would know what to do, Carlisle would be out hunting with Edward so I would be able to talk to Esme alone. I knew that Esme liked me enough, and she is such a good mother to her 'adopted kids' that I thought she would know what I should do. I wiped the tears from my eyes, turned the key and the engine roared to life. I then began driving towards the Cullen home.


	4. Talk with Esme

"Esme, are you in there." I was knocking on the door. I saw a light go off. Was she ignoring me. I started to cry now, I knew she was home. I thought that if I cried her motherly instincts would take over, I know its not right, to cry to get what I wanted. This is not something I wanted, this was something I need.

"Esme please, come to the door. I really need to speak to someone motherly, and you were the first person I thought of! Please I know your in there!" I was now at the point that tears wern't just streaming down my face I was sobbing, and bawling my eyes out! I hit the door harder.

"PLEASE, ESME PLEASE!" I needed Esme.

"This isn't anything to do with me and Edward, this is to do with me, and I need to talk to someone. I think of you as a second mother, and I need you. Please Esme" I whispered this, pretty much given up all hope.

I sat down on the step, crying harder than ever. I was leaning on the fount door to the Cullen's house when it clicked open, and Esme walked out, she was wearing what looked like a 'traveling outfit' yet that didn't really register in my mind. She scooped me of the ground up into her arms, and took me inside. The tears wouldn't stop streaming down my face. I couldn't stop crying. She lay me down on the couch and sat on the floor next to me. She stroked my hair gently, as if she was trying not to frighten me. I finally stopped crying, finally. I hugged Esme. The way she hugged back was what I would call a 'mothers hug'.

"What ever is the matter Bella" She said, trying to hide her worried expression.

"I don't want to burden you with my problem Esme, I just needed to be with a mother, mine is so far away. I'm sorry if you wouldn't like me to think of you as a mother, but you really are one to Edward."

"No Bella, you are a daughter to me." She looked pained

"Have I upset you Esme, you look hurt?" I said to her, I was confused. I didn't know how I had hurt her feelings.

"No Bella, you haven't upset me. Will you tell me whats wrong?"

"Well, there has been something going on with me. Its something that I don't want to burden Edward with, or Charlie or anyone else for that matter. Yet I have to face it sooner or later, because the problem is getting bigger." I said, trying to sound calm.

"Oh Bella, Im not trying to be forward, but as you have come to me. I would like to know… Bella, are you pregnant?"

"No of course not Esme, I do not love anyone but Edward, I never have and I never ever will." That same pained expression returned to her face.

"So what is wrong?"

"Well, the thing I was talking about, I don't know weather or not to tell anyone about it. I could go through it on my own, or I could ask for help and comfort."

"How big is this problem Bella, is it life changing for you?"

"Yes Esme It is."

She sat there thinking. In silence.

"I don't think you should tell Edward right now, keep it to yourself for a few days. Give your self sometime to think it over, your the only person who can make that decision. I'm sorry I have not been much help Bella." The pained look returned to her face as she spoke.

"Thats okay Esme. I just need someone to talk to that I could trust. Do you know when Edward will be back?" I asked.

"No sorry sweetheart, I'll tell him to drop by to your place." I headed for the door, Esme clearly had other things on her plate. I didn't want to stand in her way.

"Could you just do me one favour, and not tell Edward about this, and not think about it for a couple of days?"

"Sure lovely. Drive safely now." She ushered my out of the door, and when I got back to my house Edward was waiting for me.


	5. Goodbye my Edward

**AUTHORS NOTE: There is a chunk of this taken out of NewMoon, I have changed words and added things in, but most of this chapter is Stephenie Meyer's writing! :D Enjoy!**

"Come for a walk with me," he suggested in an unemotional voice, taking my hand.

I didn't answer. I couldn't think of a way to protest, but I instantly knew that I wanted to. I didn't like this. This is bad, this is very bad, the voice in my head repeated again and again. But he didn't wait for an answer. He pulled me along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. I followed unwillingly, trying to think through the panic. It was what I wanted, I reminded myself. The chance to talk it all through. So why was the panic choking me? I thought maybe Esme might have told him about me coming to her, or maybe he read it in her mind. We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when he stopped. We were barely on the trail I could still see the house. Some walk. Edward leaned against a tree and stared at me, his expression unreadable. Okay, let's talk," I said. It sounded braver than it felt. He took a deep breath. "Bella, we're leaving." I took a deep breath, too. This was an acceptable option. I thought I was prepared to do this, but after finding out I had well… Cancer I didn't really know how it would work.

"Why now? I can't leave now. There is things I have to do. Things I must do. Can we just wait another year " "Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over soon regardless." His answer confused me. I thought the point of leaving was to let his family live in peace. Why did we have to leave if they were going? I stared at him, trying to understand what he meant. He stared back coldly. With a roll of nausea, I realized I'd misunderstood. "When you say we ," I whispered. "I mean my family and myself." Each word separate and distinct. I guess this is why Esme was being so 'cold', and looked like she was in pain. She already knew that this was coming. I shook my head back and forth mechanically, trying to clear it. He waited without any sign of impatience. It took a few minutes before I could speak. "Okay," I said. "I'll come with you."

"You can't, Bella. Where we're going... It's not the right place for you." "Where you are is the right place for me. I need you Edward. More than ever!" "I'm no good for you, Bella." "Don't be ridiculous." I wanted to sound angry, but it just sounded like I was begging. And was pretty much prepared and ready to do that. "You're the very best part of my life. Your what I have to life for, to fight for." "My world is not for you," he said grimly. "What happened with Jasper that was nothing, Edward!

"You're right," he agreed. "It was exactly what was to be expected." "You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay " "As long as that was best for you," he interrupted to correct me. "No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you it's yours already! Please, I need you with me. I need you to get through this." He took a deep breath and stared, unseeingly, at the ground for a long moment. His mouth twisted the tiniest bit. When he finally looked up, his eyes were different, harder- like the liquid gold had frozen solid. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying. There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent. "You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order. "No." I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the word he'd spoken.

"Well, that changes things." I was surprised by how calm and reasonable my voice sounded. It must be because I was so numb. I couldn't realise what he was telling me. It still didn'tmake any sense. He looked away into the trees as he spoke again. "Of course, I'll always love you... in a way. But what happened the other night made me realise that it's time for a change. Because I'm... tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." He looked back, and the icy planes of his perfect face were not human. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." "Don't." My voice was just a whisper now; awareness was beginning to seep through me, trickling like acid through my veins. "Don't do this." He just stared at me, and I could see from his eyes that my words were far too late. He already had. "You're not good for me, Bella." He turned his earlier words around, and so I had no argument. How well I knew that I wasn't good enough for him.

I opened my mouth to say something, and then closed it again. He waited patiently, his face wiped clean of all emotion. I tried again. "If... that's what you want." He nodded once. My whole body went numb. I couldn't feel anything below the neck. That wasn't because of the cancer, that was just because the only thing I loved, didn't love or want me.

"I would like to ask one favour, though, if that's not too much," he said. I wonder what he saw on my face, because something flickered across his own face in response. But, before I could identify it, he'd composed his features into the same serene mask. "Anything," I vowed, my voice faintly stronger. As I watched, his frozen eyes melted. The gold became liquid again, molten, burning down into mine with an intensity that was overwhelming. "Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying? I don't want you to get hurt, or end up dead." I nodded helplessly. Yet I realised that I was pretty much lying I was going to end up dead, either because of the cancer, or because I was old. Either way, with out Edward I was going to end up dead. His eyes cooled, the distance returned. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself for him." I nodded again. "I will," I whispered. He seemed to relax just a little.

"And I'll make you a promise in return," he said. "I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." My knees must have started to shake, because the trees were suddenly wobbling. I could hear the blood pounding faster than normal behind my ears. His voice sounded farther away. He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." "And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something stuck in my throat, like I was choking.

"My kind are easily distracted. I best be off. You take care of yourself Bella. We will not bother you again." He ran.

I was never going to see my family again. I was never going to be saved by Carlisle from dying of Cancer, I was never going to have another motherly chat with Esme. I was never going to get laughed at by 'big brother' Emmet, I would have even loved to see Rosalie again. I was never going to be influenced by Jaspers happiness. I was not even ever going to see my best friend Alice. I was dying. Dying was supposed to be peace full. This was anything but peaceful.

I turned around an walked back out of the woods, not caring about anything. I walked out of the forest, and back to my front lawn. Charlie bust out of the front door.

"Bella what's wrong you look terrible, are you ill."

I felt the ground give way beneath me. Everything went black.


	6. Back to the Hospital I go

I was unaware of where I was.

"Bells, It's Alright, were almost at the hospital, can you hear me Bella."

I guessed that we must be on our way to the hospital. If what the voice said was true. I guessed it was true, there would be no point in lying to my somewhat uncontitious body.. I realised that there was someone holding my hand. The hand was warm. I felt a hole growing in my heart. Edward, he was gone. I couldn't breathe.

'Beep. Beep. Beep' was all that I could hear. I felt something strange around my face, that seemed to be pumping oxygen into my nose.

"Bella Honey, are you awake" Someone was speaking to me. I realised that the voice was Charlie. There was something stuck into my arm. I wondered what that was. I slowly opened my eyes. I was in the hospital with Charlie sitting on a plastic chair beside the bed where I lay. He looked worried and scared. I could see what looked like a tear in his eye. He must know about the cancer.

My mind wandered. Edward. Suddenly I couldn't breathe. I heard the machines constant beeps speed up. I clutched my chest, I was trying to make the giant hole in my heart go away. It wouldn't.

"NURSE, something is happening with Bella. Come quickly." Charlie yelled.

I sat up gasping for air, all I could think about was my love for the person who had left me behind. I was clutching my chest, thinking about the beautiful Edward who had once loved me- or claimed to anyway. I held my chest for dear life. The machine was beep-ing like crazy. What looked like a Nurse ran through the door.

"Please try to breathe, clam down Isabella."

"PLEASE MAKE IT STOP" I yelled, she probablly didn't know what was wrong with me. This probably usually didn't happen with cancer patients, if it did she was not expecting it from me.

"What is hurting Isabella" she asked trying to sound calm.

"My memories, he's gone." I thought id just check that I hadn't dreamed up the Cullen's departure.

I started thinking that maybe Edward never left, and that it was all a dream. The machine when back to normal beeping pace. I took deep breathes till I was back to normal.

"Where am I Dad" I asked, I just needed to know if I was in Forks hospital. If I was, I could ask for doctor Cullen.

"Your in Forks hospital Bells" Carlie said.

"Excuse me Nurse, could I please speak to Doctor Cullen" I said trying to stay calm, and be polite.

"No I'm sorry, Doctor Cullen resigned a couple of hours ago, he and his family moved west."

Beep…Beep..Beep. BEEP BEEP BEEP. The heart monitor started going out of control, I screamed and cried as the hole in my heart ripped open once again.

"PLEASE SEDATE ME, I don't want to feel this pain and loss." I screamed thrashing my arms out I was going crazy. Charlie stared at me, with such saddened eyes. The nurse looked alarmed. I felt my arm being prodded with a needle which pierced my skin. Suddenly I stopped trashing my arms, crying and screaming. My heart rate slowed along with the beeping.


End file.
